COOL ONE LINERS
- Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
- I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
- The road to success is always under construction.
- I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!
- Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
- Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Born free; Taxed to death.
- A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
- The hardest part of skating is the ice.
- The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
- The trouble with being punctual is that there's no one there to appreciate it.
- If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills.
- If you can't convince them, confuse them.
- It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- The cigarette does the
smoking - you are just the sucker.